A Merciful Challenge

This past Sunday, our priest Fr Thom's homily was about mercy and forgiveness, and how God showers all of us with each.  What stood out to me most was his description of different types of mercy, one of which was "a loving challenge to help us grow."  I haven't often thought about mercy in that way before.  When we are presented with challenges in our lives, we don't often think about those challenges and difficulties as embodying "mercy." I was grateful to be prompted to think about mercy in this way, because pregnancy, childbirth, and raising children are nothing if not loving challenges that help us to grow.  Mercy isn't just about God giving us what we want or alleviating our pain; it can also be about entrusting us with new responsibilities. 

Framing my pregnancy as a challenge God wants me to experience instead of merely a lucky and possibly fleeting blessing that I may or may not deserve (in my own mind) helps to expand my view of what this time in my life is really about.  A lot of my guilt has been coming from thinking that I don't deserve to "get what I want," in this case, a baby.  But is this really about what I want, or about what about what a baby needs?  Don't I want a child specifically because I am thirsting for the privilege to impart wisdom, lessons about self-love and acceptance, spirituality, hope, and kindness to a brand new member of God's family?

During our wedding ceremony, my husband and I were asked, "Will you accept children willingly and lovingly from God?" to which we replied, "Yes."  Fr Thom's question was not, "Will you accept children but question whether God made the right choice?"

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Galo:  he made the right choice to choose you

me:  us  

Galo:  yeah us

Galo:  I love you. You are going to be a great mom

me: 

me:  you are going to be a great dad